A “garden of roses” was what I wanted…
As I mentioned in my last post (a DIY organic facial cleanser that you can read here if you missed it), I’d been having difficulty making progress in my projects due to health and emotional issues.
I’m not one to share deep, dark secrets publicly. It’s hard for me to be transparent – only to a very few. Even then, it’s difficult. But I wanted to share my story here – a small segment of it – so others who may be struggling physically and emotionally can have hope.
Psalm 77:1-3 (NASB)
1 - My voice rises to God, and I will cry aloud; My voice rises to God, and He will listen to me. 2 -In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord; In the night my hand was stretched out and did not grow weary; My soul refused to be comforted. 3 - When I remember God, then I am restless; When I sigh, then my spirit feels weak.
I would guarantee that everyone goes through some type of turmoil – some more than others. I always get encouraged when I read of someone’s journey through struggle and strife – how they coped, how God answered their prayers, or gave them grace to handle difficulties.
In the book, Anne of Green Gables, Anne wasn’t wanted because she was a girl. She wanted to live with Marilla and her brother, Matthew. She told Marilla she was in the depths of despair. Marilla believed being in the depths of despair meant turning your back on God.
Though I can see why she believed that, I can truthfully say that I had not turned my back on God. Not when I’d been looking to Him for answers to my anxieties.
Isn’t a believer in Christ supposed to have joy amidst trial? Scripture shows that many have cried to God about their circumstances. They’ve wept and prayed for Him to intervene and provide rest and relief from their sorrows.
How does the LORD mend a person that is suffering from emotional trauma? Does prayer really work? Counseling – for me – didn’t heal the turmoil that had accumulated these past three years.
I kept reading scripture. I didn’t give up on prayer, and I knew the LORD knew what I was going through.
I’d been suffering with anxiety, depression, lack of romantic love for my husband, and decades of irritability. It was tearing me apart, yet I wasn’t getting answers to my prayers. My tears flowed often. Dealing with my husband’s issues were difficult. My physical pains plagued me. Patience was not a virtue – at all – though I prayed for it often.
I couldn’t make my husband understand the reasons for my troubles. Sometimes our conversations went in circles with no remedy in sight. Yet daily he’d profess his love for me. That was a constant and it was a blessing.
The turmoil wasn’t every day, but when it came, I’d ask the LORD, why? Why was a highly sensitive, introverted woman married to a strong-willed, outgoing person? Did I make a mistake? All the questions I asked about my situation weren’t being answered. Guilt and depression overwhelmed my soul. My physical ailments and pain made it difficult to accomplish things. Sometimes I wanted to walk away, but I never would have done that.
How did all this anguish and misery come about? Yes, sin is involved, but there is another reason why a person can experience pain and anguish of soul. And when I’m in pain, it’s hard to be Christ-like. Where were the roses in my barren garden? Where was the joy?
Last October, I wrote a post on natural remedies. You can read that here to refresh your memory. Over the past several years I learned about gut health. When the gut isn’t healthy, it won’t function correctly and when that happens, the rest of our body can suffer with a multitude of maladies, and that includes the brain – our mind – our emotions – how we think and feel. It’s all connected.
God created an intricate and highly-designed earth that is brimming with natural remedies. Wisdom from God was given to certain people to create natural supplements that can truly make a difference in our health.
God can supernaturally heal a person without natural remedies. He raised Lazarus from the dead. He raised Jesus Christ, His Son, from the dead. He doesn’t need to use “things” to heal. But in His beautifully designed earth, He provided a plethora of plant-based remedies.
If you really want it, it’s there if you look. It’s there for the asking.
God was answering my prayers and I didn’t know it. I didn’t see it right away.
And here I leave you for now until next Sunday for Part 2 – to hear about my “garden of roses!”
Have a great Sunday worshiping the LORD in the beauty of holiness!